Follow Your Heart

I'm watching the Notebook right now. I haven't seen this movie in years. My goodness is it good. I'm surprised its not in my girly movie collection. Amazing. "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."

So, I've got some catching up to do on here. I've had the most amazing 2 weeks since my birthday. I have been out nearly every night, still making it to every morning practice, and every meet session. It's about time my life is like this. I've just been waiting for this. I feel rejuvenated. I feel alive again. I was so depressed for a while there. I'm working out everyday, maybe twice. Playing basketball a couple times a week, trying to get into this running thing. My kids are swimming well, I've gotten to work really closely with the Senior groups lately and I've gotten a lot of compliments about it. It's still a roller coaster ride with T.

Yet, there are people who can't appreciate me being happy. Well, they do, but they can't believe it maybe. For the last couple weeks I've been keeping myself extra busy. No real reason for it. Just wanted to try it out. Sure, I've been burning the candle at both ends, but it's been worth every minute. I've been trying this "you can sleep when you are dead" theory out. Trying to be more of an extrovert, rather than the introvert that I am. I'm OK with it. I still like my down time, don't get me wrong. But when push comes to shove, I'm gonna go out. Morning practice or not. I like exploring my new worlds. It's taken me to different basketball courts with new people. It's taken me to a law school grad party where people were actually my age. It's taken me to put puzzles together, play cards, bbq's, volleyball courts, wine tastings, a track (the kind you run on!), and many, many, new fun places.

My 26Th birthday night was kind of an eye opener for me. I wasn't going to go out. I was dead set on coming home and crying myself to sleep that night. My one friend called me and said she was out. I figured why the hell not. Then more people came out. To see ME! It ended up being one of the most fun, random nights of my life. From that point on, I decided I wanted more random nights like that. And to do that, I needed to make more of an effort to see it happen. I finally feel like I'm my own person.

Still, I have gotten chastised for making my own life. True, I felt betrayed by these people for a short bit, but I got over that. In a way though, that might have been a kick in the pants I needed to jump start my stale, uneventful, depressing life. God winks I think those are called. They feel like I am cutting them out, which is not true at all. It's the exact opposite. They have helped me realize what I want in this crazy world. Just because I'm out having too much fun, and don't call, doesn't mean I don't love you all. Just means I will have wicked awesome stories when I come up for air next.

It's helped my coaching. I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore. I'm more laid back, and fun. I'm talking to the parents and working out their questions instead of avoiding them. I'm taking Doug head on. I'm stepping up to the plate, and hitting home runs. Those kids finally respect me. How do I know? They do my workouts without questioning me or complaining. They get in on time. They are sending me graduation party invites. I'm doing something right. Finally.

There's to keeping this ball rolling.

Brett Dennen, Follow Your Heart: "I am a dreamer/And I'm a lover/I've been let down/I've loved and lost/I've been alone/I've been far from home/Follow your heart/Follow your heart/Follow your heart and you won't get lost"